Day 8: Full Outside, Empty Inside

I had a house by the sea, a business with fifty employees, more money than I could ever spend, and a partner who loved me. By every external measure, I had arrived. And yet I was terrified every single night — terrified of losing it all, terrified of being abandoned, terrified that none of it meant anything at all. From the outside I looked full, but inside I was a black hole that nothing could fill. That is the great lie of the world: that getting more will make you feel whole. The void does not care about your bank account or your relationship status. It is not a hole to be filled from the outside. It is a forgetting to be remembered from within. That is why I started lying down, keeping my eyes open, and watching my thoughts — not to get more, but to remember what I already had.